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gem-b.jpgSaturday was my dad's anniversary - not usually an event I like to acknowledge. Since I miss him everyday, I have come to realise I would rather keep busy and happy than sitting around feeling sad just because I should.

But with the combination of being on my own - Chris was working - and getting married, I took a different approach this time around. And not in a mournful way either, in fact taking 'reflection time' has had quite a profound impact on my outlook for the wedding.

I realised you can spend hours caught up in the trivialities of the big day, obsessing over the most minor details and trying, and failing, to keep everyone happy. And god knows I am guilty of that.

Which is all well and good, but when it really comes down to it...who cares what colour napkins you have, or whether guest x will be upset if they only get a reception invite. I have begun to obsess over things I would never care about in the 'real world', and I think it is time I refocused.

Looking at the bigger picture has made me really quite philosophical. Don't get me wrong, I will still have moments when I feel devastated that neither of my parents will be at my wedding. And I will sometimes feel a little jealous of other brides who can pick up the phone to their mum or dad.

But this week, at any rate, I am only seeing positives. Any wedding is an amazing celebration, and both Chris and I will be surrounded by people that love and support us.

And my parents would have been so happy and proud of both of us - although I can be fairly sure dad would have arranged for a ladder outside my window the night before... just in case!
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rings-b.jpgI am officially in a wedding planning-lull. So much so that I have back-tracked on my earlier decision not to get any 'save the date' cards and have in fact ordered 100...from Canada.

And yes, by the time they do actually arrive, we may as well have just sent out the invites. But I recently came to realise I need to feel things are constantly progressing on the wedding front.

I think this has a lot to do with the fact I feel a little overwhelmed by the whole planning process and I want to feel one step ahead. So, to combat this, I keep trying to add to the work load. Obviously.

While I am on the theme of creating extra jobs for myself, I had a phone call this week from the director - no less! - of my wedding dress shop asking me to go in for a fitting, and also requesting we both stop by to get our rings measured.

And - I may well be getting carried away here cost-wise - I'm now not 100 per cent sure I want the free rings. I have seen them and admittedly they look fine, just like most plain white gold bands in fact. But I am just not sure if we should choose our own.

Even reading this back I can tell I am a little frustrated - Chris isn't even going to wear his wedding band!

And here is why. I am still waiting for our first wedding meeting - our lack of organisation, not Bickleigh's - and I am desperate for a new task to keep my mind occupied.

So before I start to turn my attentions to the world of wedding flowers - god forbid - I am going to begin my wifely duties tonight. I will nag my husband-to-be until he settles on a final date!
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speech-b.jpgThis week I have had some amazing news. My brother James has agreed to make a speech at the wedding.

For anyone who knows my younger sibling, this is a really big deal. Public speaking would be on the list of the top ten things James most hates doing.

And I can't say I blame him, it wouldn't be something I would be leaping around in excitement over either. But it definitely doesn't bother me as much as it does him, which is why it means the world to me that he has said yes.

I should point out; he has had a change of heart. A couple of years ago, when Chris and I were first considering getting married - we have come close a couple of times; in 2006 we even made it as far as the National Wedding Fair! - I told James he would have to step up and walk me down the aisle.

Before I said another word, he turned to me and said that of course he would give me away but that I shouldn't expect him to do the 'father of the bride' speech because "that will never happen."

Who knows what changed his mind? I am not sure, but he can't go back now - I have witnesses!

It will be one of the proudest moments of my life when James does stand up and say something, even if it is just a few words. And, as he pointed out, he has just under a year to write a speech and practice it, by which time he might even get used to the idea and - dare I say it - enjoy his moment in the spotlight!



As a little extra, I just want to say congratulations to one of my best friends Cheryse and her lovely boyfriend Joe who got engaged this week - here's to the happy couple!
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