This weekend Chris and I decided to draw up an official guest list. Before my friends/family/wedding organiser start to panic, we had of course already written down who would be getting an invite. But since this is a weekend affair and arrivals will be spread over 3 days, I thought it would be only sensible to decide exactly which people would be coming when.
And in theory it was a great idea. Sitting down to actually do it? Not so much.
We wanted around 70 people to join us for the ceremony and the breakfast, and around 120 for the reception.
Imagine our horror when we totted up our provisional 'day and night' list and realised we were about 40 people over. Ten extra guests, you can get away with. Anything much more than that, and some serious re-evaluating needs to happen.
So there we are on a Sunday afternoon and facing some really tough decisions - ones that we didn't always agree on.
In the end we walked away. It was too hard and horrible. But it did raise the question - where do you draw the line with plus ones?
We have the room for everyone to come to the reception, but not for the sit-down meal. And I am not sure how politically correct it is to invite one half of a couple and ask the other to join us later.
But if we don't do that we put ourselves in the absurd position of swapping out our real friends and family to make room for people we just don't know.
I guess this is my first experience of the dark 'political' side of weddings, and it really is not fun. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed that those affected will understand, it is after all a matter of space - renovations just aren't included in our wedding package.
Canada
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Greece
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Breathe!!! Adopt a mantra- "Everything will be fine". Really, it feels horrible to do the list, but honestly, people understand! And if they don't, they'll moan to someone else, who will understand and will explain!! Keep your chin up chuck, it is a dark world, but it's only a tunnel, and you'll come out the other side!!! And remember- Everything will be fine! XxX
If you have children in the count could they have their own children's party in another room at the same time as the sit down meal? They would probably have more fun and the parents would be relaxed knowing that they are being entertained. This would be an extra expense.
Or you could avoid the sit down meal altogether and have a more relaxed meal option that means you can have everyone together. Cocktails and canapes, a hog roast, cake and Champagne.
It is really difficult to decide on your guest list, you won't please everyone but it will be fine in the end. Good luck making your decisions.